Back in 2015, I published a post on the Christian Passover meal my family had had with friends the year before, when our girls were 3 and 6. I thought it was a beautiful expression and observance of our shared heritage with the Jewish faith - the liberation of the Jews from slavery in Egypt.
In 2021, I came under fire from a small group of very vocal Jews who felt my Christian Passover was deeply upsetting. They left hateful comments on Twitter and here on this post (which I promptly deleted).
Not one to be bullied into actions I do not believe in, I stewed on the controversy for a few days. During that time, I spoke personally (via text, phone, and email) with a dozen Jewish friends. Before each conversation, I told them that I would not publish anything they said and I asked them to give me complete honesty and forthrightness.
My friends' opinions on my Christian Passover ran the gamut from "This is an offensive example of cultural appropriation." to "As long as you're not trying to convert me, do whatever you want."
I liked my Christian Passover meal. My kids liked it. The food was amazing, and Jesus was present in the details. It was really hard to accept that - at least for some Jews - what I thought was a beautiful acknowledgement of a shared custom was more like stealing a sacred ritual and mainstreaming it for my own purposes.
I reflected on these conversations over a period of a few days, and I made the decision to remove most of the original post including the part where I linked Jesus with the Passover.
I want to be clear: my decision had nothing to do with the bullies. It had everything to do with thoughtful conversations with my friends and one stranger whose comment I published below. One thing came up in those conversations over and over: "If you want to celebrate Passover, do it. But it's pretty offensive if you take OUR holiday and make it about YOUR Jesus."
If you want to add something to your Easter week that your kids will enjoy and learn from, have a Maundy Thursday observance during Holy Week. I have included some suggestions for that below.
So all that to say that I have taken down my Passover script where I drew a correlation between the Jews' liberation from Egypt with the Christian belief that Jesus liberated us from sin.
6 Ideas for Replacing a Christian Passover with Maundy Thursday
- Have a foot washing ceremony - I think this would be really fun especially if your kids are little. I know that fun and solemn Easter don't necessarily go hand in hand, but I think you could have the solemn part first (where you read John 13:1-5 and talk about what Jesus did, how dirty the disciples feet must have been from walking around in the desert in sandals, and why it was important that He humbled Himself before the people who were His followers). Then once the serious conversation is over, you could set out to wash your kids' feet. You could either take turns washing each other's feet or Mom or Dad could do everyone's as a sign of, "I am the servant leader of this household, and I will humble myself before all of you my followers." It's up to you. I think I am going to try this in 2021 even though my kids are 10 and 13 and will probably roll their eyes.
- Clean up - This is most certainly not going to be popular with your kids, but a thousand years ago, Christians spent Maundy Thursday sweeping and cleaning their homes. It was symbolic of the soul cleansing that Jesus did for all of us in His sacrifice on the cross, and it also helped to prepare for the solemnity of the Holy weekend which started the following day on Good Friday. You and your family could observe the holiday by doing a bit of spring cleaning and take the weekend off.
- Use Resurrection Eggs to tell the Easter story - If your kids are too young to sit through a several chapter Bible reading, help them to make a set of resurrection eggs using these instructions. They use a set of 12 plastic Easter eggs which you can buy for under $2 and then little objects you probably have around the house or can easily acquire. (Note - It may be controversial to say that little kids can't sit through a Bible reading, and maybe some kids could do it, but mine could not until they were well past six or seven. Allie started asking me to read the Bible to her around age 8 I think. Younger children could handle reading the Easter story in small parts, as you make the eggs, but I don't think you should try to read it all at one go. For little kids, I highly recommend the ICB translation [Allie's favorite ICB, one that I think is absolutely beautiful, and a more gender neutral version] as it cuts out a lot of the details that are not important to the story while preserving the theme and major events we know and love.)
- Study the Easter story in the Bible - You can find the entire Easter story from the Last Supper and plot against Jesus to the crucifixion in the following chapters of the Bible. The overall arc of the story is the same in each of the books, but there are small dissimilarities. I wouldn't recommend reading all 4 versions to your kids at the same time though, even if they are teens. They will quickly get bored at the repetition. Choose one version ahead of time and read and study it with your whole family.
- Matthew 26-28
- Mark 14-16
- Luke 22-24
- John 18-21
- Eat ice cream sundaes - You read that right, ice cream. I think this would be super fun for kids of all ages, and it would be a nice way to end any day but especially those during Holy Week. It's structured sort of like a seder, but I hesitate to call it that because I don't want to offend. It is similar in that the foods and script are given, but it is 100% different in content and structure.
- Here's what you need (feel free to substitute as you see fit):
- Mini marshmallows
- Unsweetened nuts or semi sweet chocolate chips
- Brightly colored sprinkles
- A sweet syrup topping such as chocolate, hot fudge, butterscotch, or caramel
- Fruit: banana pieces, strawberries, blueberries, or another fruit
- Shredded coconut
- M&Ms
- Whipped cream
- A carton of vanilla ice cream (enough for the whole family to enjoy a sundae)
- Put each food item on the table in a small bowl, but keep the ice cream in the freezer for now. Your family should sit around the table and you could say something like the following (feel free to modify as you see fit):
- We are so busy with our own things that it's easy to forget what God has done for each of us and for our family. Let's see how these foods can remind us of God's love and how he's touched our family.
- Pass around the bowl and ask each person to take one. Let's each eat a marshmallow. They look like babies, don't they? When I remember you as a baby, I always thank God for you, and let me tell you why. Then tell a short story about each child and how he or she has blessed your family. Let your spouse and kids share stories about each other if they want.
- Pass around the nuts or chocolate chips and ask each person to take one. These aren't very sweet, are they? {If using nuts - Nuts aren't usually sweet. They often taste bitter, and most nuts grow with a hard shell. If using chocolate - Chocolate isn't always soft and sweet; sometimes it's actually hard and bitter.} Let's think about some hard or bitter things that have happened in our family. Then share a short story about a difficult event and how God helped you through it. Ask your family to share their own short stories.
- Pass around the bowl of sprinkles. Pick your favorite color of sprinkles out of the bowl. Sprinkles are fun and remind me of a party. What's something that has happened in our family that was fun? How did God help it to happen? Let each family member share a story about a fun family time and how they saw God's presence during that time.
- Pass around a bowl with the syrup topping in it. Dip your finger in the syrup and taste it. These toppings cover ice cream just like God's love covers our family. Share a brief story of a time when you felt God's love bringing peace or comfort to your family, and invite each member of your family to share the same.
- Pass around the fruit and invite each family member to enjoy a piece. Fruit is a healthy snack to eat. God has helped to bring good health to our family, too. Then remember and share different times that God brought healing to your family.
- Pass around the bowl of shredded coconut and invite everyone to enjoy a pinch. Coconut reminds me of snow and winter, when we celebrate the birth of Jesus. I'm thankful to God for sending his Son, but sometimes I forget to thank God for that gift. What's something you want to thank God for? Wait while each family member responds.
- Pass around the bowl of M&Ms and ask each person to take a few of his or her favorite color and look at it (don't eat yet). Turn your candy upside down and imagine instead of M&M it says W&W. That can remind us of Wants and Wishes. God has given our family so many things that we've wanted and wished for, things that go way beyond what we actually need. Then eat your candy and tell a brief story of something you wanted for the family and how God provided, and invite your family members to share their own stories.
- Squirt a dollop of whipped cream onto each family's index finger and invite them to eat it. God's love for us is as sweet as this whipped cream. Then share a story about how God's love has sweetened your life and let your family members share their stories as well.
- Now, it would be a shame to have all of these yummy toppings and no ice cream, right? Surprise your family with ice cream, whatever flavor you prefer.
- Before you eat, offer a prayer of thanks for your family, for your blessings, and for God's love. Before you pray, invite your family members to offer their own prayers out loud, and then you can follow up and close with your own prayer.
- Here's what you need (feel free to substitute as you see fit):
- Make a Last Supper craft - This cute idea from Catholic Icing recreates DaVinci's Last Supper painting.
While you're here, check out 16 Simple Lent Activities for All Christian Kids and What is Lent and Should We Observe It? Even if it's just a few days before Easter Sunday, it's not too late to get in a little sacrifice and quiet reflection to honor Lent as well.
RULES FOR COMMENTS:
- I reserve the right to delete any comment that I feel is inappropriate. I am happy to facilitate a debate, but it is ultimately my site, and if I think a comment is rude, disrespectful, or does not contribute to a positive discussion of the salient points, I will delete it. It's not about censorship; it's about respect. This is my sandbox. If you don't like my rules, you are free to leave.
- Be respectful. If your comment degrades another commenter, it will be deleted. This includes name calling and telling other commenters they're confused or that their thoughts are laughable or unintelligent. It's okay to disagree, but it is not okay to degrade another commenter.
- State your opinion without criticizing the opinions of others. I believe that Christians are entitled to their view of God, Jesus, and the Bible, and I believe that Jews are entitled to their view of God, Jesus, and the Bible. I know this is an unpopular opinion among many, and that's okay. If your worldview prevents you from accepting that other people have different beliefs from you and that those beliefs are just as valid as yours, please word your comment carefully.
Francheska Ward says
I can understand the outrage of the Jews. Jesus was offensive to many, but especially to them. The sad part about this is that His coming fulfilled the Passover. You didn't culturally appropriate it. You are simply celebrating its fulfillment. they are still waiting for that. I'm saddened that as Christians we can't have the space to teach one another without being censored.
Jenn says
Hi Francheska, I am not sure you understand anything if you feel it is your place to tell Christians, as a Christian yourself, that it is ok for them to steal our holy rituals and practices. Passover is not a Christian holiday. It is not for Christians. Just because you or anyone else likes something, or reads meaning into something doesn't make it yours. Your Christian interpretation of a Jewish holiday is unneeded and unwanted. Your permission to other Christians is not wanted or needed.
Fun fact: Because of all the Christian Seders "shrinkflation" is now affecting Kosher for Passover Matzos. Because of Christians like yourself who think you can give permission for others to appropriate we now have to spend more to get less of the ritual food we need to observe our holidays. Because of people like you, we now have to order our matzos around Channukah to ensure we get it because Christians think it's fine to take the food we need to complete our sacred rituals.
This message is for everyone on this thread, but especially you right now. Passover is a Jewish holiday. It is not a Christian holiday. It is not for Christians. It has nothing to do with Jesus. You don't get to give permission to steal, and it is theft. You don't get to do to us what was done to every pagan European religion indigenous people around the world. You have a whole host of spring solstice holidays, celebrate those. If you have a Jewish friend (Jews for Jesus and Messianics are Christians, they don't count and frankly we view them as idol worshippers) who invites you to a seder, you can attend, ask questions about the customs, and learn about how we do things. Just keep in mind that Jesus has no place there and mentioning him without being asked will ensure you are never invited again.
It is frankly ridiculous that I have to write this out every year. Stop appropriating our stuff. Leave Jews alone. If you want to support us, listen to what we need, don't tell us what to do. It's insulting on so many levels. Just stop. And maybe go learn about the current rise in antisemitism and what easter pogroms are. Just stop.
Kitty says
That part...
Jenn says
Francheska, You don't get to say what is or isn't yours to take from another group's sacred rituals. To paraphrase a quote: It only feels like censorship when you are the one usually doing the censoring. Tara, it appears you have taken down all the comments (I can't see them, perhaps they are still there). I would consider that censorship. I think if all the comments are taken down, including everything Jews have contributed to this discussion, it would be better not to have a post about a Christian seder at all. It's offensive, frustrating, and disheartening to read comments justifying the stealing of sacred rituals, written by Christians, every year. Christians are the most powerful religious group in the world. History has shown what happens to the cultures and religions from whom Christianity "borrows." Jews don't want that. Jews don't want to be defined by Christians. Jews don't want anything else taken from us by Christians. It isn't a cultural exchange, it is theft of rituals, cultural artefacts, etc and then we (and other marginalized religions) are given the option to convert or die. Now, more than ever, when antisemitism is on the rise, attacks on Jews and Jewish building are even more common (because a lot of folks don't understand that Jewish isn't the same as Israeli or Zionist), it is important to listen to what we are pleading for from Christians. The price of kosher for Passover matzos has gone up, and the standard amount, 5 pounds, is down to 4 pounds. This is mainly due to demand going up significantly because of Christian Seders. If Christians insist on taking our holy rituals and food, please at least consider not using the Kosher for Passover stuff, as it is literally the only thing we can use for the religious holiday we celebrate. The non-Kosher for Passover stuff is fine for appropriation purposes.
As per usual, I do not speak for all Jews. I speak for myself and all the Jews I have ever known because everyone one I have met feels the same way when it comes to cultural appropriation of our holidays. Christians don't speak for any Jews, not even the Jews they know. It's pretty common to say something non-committal when confronted by a Christian demanding an ok for appropriation. Those Christians are usually in positions of social power over us, so why rock the boat? We tend to be more honest online when we are anonymous and can't get fired, or be shunned by Christian in-laws, for making someone feel bad about cultural theft.
Tara, it's your blog, do as you will, but I am begging you to just take this column down. I can't handle the influx of antisemitism, in-correct information, and Jewsplaining by Christians. None of this is meant to be insulting, it is the truth, often an uncomfortable truth, but still the truth. Engaging in cultural appropriation is bigoted, bigotry against Jews is antisemitism. I am happy to point you in the direction of some educational resources written by Rabbis and other Jewish educators regarding the history of Passover, to put in it's place.
Tara Gerner says
Send me the resources at [email protected]. I'll edit the post again.
And I haven't removed any comments. There are 130 to date.
Meggie says
Hi there,
I was very excited about this post as I am doing research to equip my Messianic Jewish congregation about celebrating Passover with kids. I would've loved to have read your tips and connections with Jesus.
I understand some Jews take offense with our beliefs. Nonetheless the first followers of Jesus were Jews and much of the early church was Jews. It's sad to see that my people find him so offensive. Jesus is Jewish and was a very righteous Rabbi. It's sad that my people have believed the lie that you can't be Jewish if you believe in Jesus. This is what the Messianic Jewish movement is all about. We keep Jewish life and tradition, but fully embracing the Messiah of Israel and of the world. This is not cultural appropriation, it's preserving Jewish identity while following Messiah.
It's a challenge because we are still fairly new and can only find resources that are either fully Jewish without Christ, or fully focused on Passion week that doesn't connect the story with the original Passover story. Everything connects so beautifully, but I haven't found many resources especially for kids with both aspects.
I would love to read your article if you would be so kinds to send it to me.