10 Ways to Respect Your Husband

Some time ago, my friend Amy wrote a post about her nice voice. If you haven’t already read it, you should.

I’ll wait til you’re finished.

I’m not sure if you noticed, but in the comments, I wrote that I am good at giving my nice voice to my girls, but I am awful at letting my husband hear it.

Joe gets, “I need!” and “Can’t you?” and “Don’t!” and he deserves so much better.

I know that I am not the only one.

My friend Jessie Leigh organized a 6-week blog series designed to honor husbands. Starting today, every Tuesday will feature a post in the series, and every Thursday will feature a round-up of the week’s posts on all of the participating blogs. honoring the man they call daddy

In addition to Jessie Leigh and I, Mandi, Jessica, and Amy are also participating.

This week’s theme is Gifts That Show Love & Respect.

Gifts That Show Love & Respect

I thought we’d start with something easy to ease into the series.

Jessie Leigh really means business. There will be no easy posts.

In fact, she started with the thing that is hardest of all for me.

I am sarcastic. I can be critical. Sometimes I mean it; sometimes I don’t.

The problem with sarcastic and critical – even when you’re joking – is that you start to believe the things you say. Because you said them, after all.

Words are powerful.

I brainstormed gifts I could give  to Joe to show him that I respect him.

I thought about showing him that I trust and respect him with our children by going away for a few days, but I’m not sure that’s the point.

In the end, I couldn’t think of a single gift that would show him respect.

The more I thought about it, I realized that respecting my husband isn’t a once a year gift. It’s not packaged in pretty paper with a fancy bow. It’s a thousand little gestures spread throughout the year.

It’s attitudes and thoughts and behaviors.

10 Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband

  1. Use good manners. Please and thank you ago a long way. I am courteous and polite and kind to strangers, so why not be courteous and polite and kind to my husband?
  2. Work on a project with him – without taking over. Joe loves to garden, and he loves to can. He would be honored if I took time out of my hectic schedule to help him while he works.  It would show him that I respect him enough to give him a hand.
  3. Give him a break. Joe does so much around the house. He does most of the cooking, and he cares for our girls while I work in the evenings. He would do anything I asked.
    I’m sure he would love a break – permission and encouragement to do whatever he wants for an hour or two. It would show him that I respect his hobbies and commitments, too.
  4. Ask his advice. Men like to fix things and solve problems. Asking for his advice shows that I value and respect his perspective.
  5. Speak well of him to others. (from Sierra on Twitter) This may well be my #1 crime where Joe is concerned. I find it so easy to speak ill of him – in jest or seriously. It just rolls off my tongue. Sometimes, I catch it before it comes out my mouth, but still, the thought goes through my brain.
    I am trying. I need to build him up. It’s so important.
    For both of us.
  6. Write him a love note. Tell him the specific things that you love and appreciate and admire about him.
  7. Thank him. Don’t just say “Thank You Dear.” Thank him for specific things – for taking out the trash, for mowing the lawn, for making a lovely dinner. Thank him often.
  8. Compliment him. You picked this fella from among all the fellas in your zip code (and beyond), so he must have some good qualities. Tell him what they are.
  9. Spend time with him. Have fun. Enjoy his company as a human being. Pay attention to his words. Have a date night.
  10. Keep your big mouth shut. When tempted to criticize or use a harsh word or an unkind tone, just keep your big mouth shut. Given the alternative, silence is the respectful choice.
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Comments

  1. says

    I’m getting pretty good at keeping my mouth shut. :0) I actually don’t have a problem in this area (not too much, anyway. I’m human.) My big problem is with my kids. I really need to be a little gentler with my words to them. Their dad earned my respect a long time ago. Now it’s just a matter of not forgetting who I’m talking to, which is easy, most of the time.

  2. Amanda says

    I have to say, I was initially sceptical when I read this post.  I am very strong woman and so often I see my friends (both “real” and blogger) talking about respecting (though it feels more like obeying) their husbands without respecting themselves.  I am SO GLAD I read beyond the title of this post.  What you say rings very true for me.  It is not about respecting your husband as you would a parent, but instead respecting him as a partner just as I hope he respects me.  It sounds like you have an amazing husband, and thanks for sharing.  I am printing this list for myself :) 

    • says

      YES! I am so glad you read and so glad you commented. I do have a wonderful husband. I am also very strong and independent; he is more of a follower. I think we are respecting each other’s natural gifts in the way we operate as a married couple.
      That said, I need to work on being more respectful of him as a human being becauseI’m more respectful of others than I am of him.

  3. Katie says

     Thanks for sharing, I would love to read more posts on this topic! It is so important that our husbands feel respected and I feel we will feel more honored if we can muster more respect. I have trouble keeping my mouth shut and saying thanks in a really meaningful specific way. 

  4. says

    Thank you for sharing this! I try to work on this, but just before this weekend, my husband was hurt and angry that I didn’t respect him…because I didn’t trust him with some things. EYE opening! I’m going to join, as I think this is a critical topic! Way too many people around me are divorced or getting divorced, and I think that too many spouses think it’s in the other person’s court! It’s only our own behavior we can change…

  5. Darlene Schacht says

     One of my favorites is “Speak well of him to others.” That is such an awesome way of honoring him when he is present or when he is absent. I love it!

  6. Darlene Schacht says

     One of my favorites is “Speak well of him to others.” That is such an awesome way of honoring him when he is present or when he is absent. I love i

  7. says

    Another good thing to do is never assume you know why your husband does something bizarre…chances are, there’s a logical thought pattern buried deep within him that makes 100% sense.  Communication can really help uncover that….

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  1. [...] 10 Ways to Respect Your Husband ::  This post really hit it with me.  Especially this phrase: “I am sarcastic. I can be critical. Sometimes I mean it; sometimes I don’t. The problem with sarcastic and critical – even when you’re joking – is that you start to believe the things you say. Because you said them, after all.  Words are powerful.” [...]

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