Some time ago, my friend Amy wrote a post about her nice voice. If you haven’t already read it, you should.
I’ll wait til you’re finished.
I’m not sure if you noticed, but in the comments, I wrote that I am good at giving my nice voice to my girls, but I am awful at letting my husband hear it.
Joe gets, “I need!” and “Can’t you?” and “Don’t!” and he deserves so much better.
I know that I am not the only one.
My friend Jessie Leigh organized a 6-week blog series designed to honor husbands. Starting today, every Tuesday will feature a post in the series, and every Thursday will feature a round-up of the week’s posts on all of the participating blogs.
This week’s theme is Gifts That Show Love & Respect.
Gifts That Show Love & Respect
I thought we’d start with something easy to ease into the series.
Jessie Leigh really means business. There will be no easy posts.
In fact, she started with the thing that is hardest of all for me.
I am sarcastic. I can be critical. Sometimes I mean it; sometimes I don’t.
The problem with sarcastic and critical – even when you’re joking – is that you start to believe the things you say. Because you said them, after all.
Words are powerful.
I brainstormed gifts I could give to Joe to show him that I respect him.
I thought about showing him that I trust and respect him with our children by going away for a few days, but I’m not sure that’s the point.
In the end, I couldn’t think of a single gift that would show him respect.
The more I thought about it, I realized that respecting my husband isn’t a once a year gift. It’s not packaged in pretty paper with a fancy bow. It’s a thousand little gestures spread throughout the year.
It’s attitudes and thoughts and behaviors.
10 Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband
- Use good manners. Please and thank you ago a long way. I am courteous and polite and kind to strangers, so why not be courteous and polite and kind to my husband?
- Work on a project with him – without taking over. Joe loves to garden, and he loves to can. He would be honored if I took time out of my hectic schedule to help him while he works. It would show him that I respect him enough to give him a hand.
- Give him a break. Joe does so much around the house. He does most of the cooking, and he cares for our girls while I work in the evenings. He would do anything I asked.
I’m sure he would love a break – permission and encouragement to do whatever he wants for an hour or two. It would show him that I respect his hobbies and commitments, too.
- Ask his advice. Men like to fix things and solve problems. Asking for his advice shows that I value and respect his perspective.
- Speak well of him to others. (from Sierra on Twitter) This may well be my #1 crime where Joe is concerned. I find it so easy to speak ill of him – in jest or seriously. It just rolls off my tongue. Sometimes, I catch it before it comes out my mouth, but still, the thought goes through my brain.
I am trying. I need to build him up. It’s so important.
For both of us.
- Write him a love note. Tell him the specific things that you love and appreciate and admire about him.
- Thank him. Don’t just say “Thank You Dear.” Thank him for specific things – for taking out the trash, for mowing the lawn, for making a lovely dinner. Thank him often.
- Compliment him. You picked this fella from among all the fellas in your zip code (and beyond), so he must have some good qualities. Tell him what they are.
- Spend time with him. Have fun. Enjoy his company as a human being. Pay attention to his words. Have a date night.
- Keep your big mouth shut. When tempted to criticize or use a harsh word or an unkind tone, just keep your big mouth shut. Given the alternative, silence is the respectful choice.
© 2011 – 2012, Tara Ziegmont. All rights reserved.