Self Doubt

by Tara Ziegmont

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I am generally a confident, self assured person.

self doubt

And yet.

As I lay awake in bed some times, hours past my self-imposed sleep time, I think about all of the ways in which I might fail. In business. In life. Online. As a parent. As a teacher. As a blogger. As a friend.

  • Maybe it was a mistake to take on another ambitious project (my Usborne Books business).
  • How am I ever going to make time to exercise?
  • Am I going to fail at my business in the same way that I failed at the 90 day Bible reading challenge?
  • I’m sliding backwards into my old eating habits. Healthy living has positive momentum, but so does unhealthy living.

Listening to the sound of Joe’s shower and the purring of a gray cat, I did the only thing I could to quiet the naysayer in my head. I grabbed a pen and my journal. I wrote.

I’m ambitious. Smart. Funny. Useful. Helpful. Successful.

And I can make a mean no-sew tutu.

So why do doubt and worry push all that aside late at night?

Is there a person on the planet who doesn’t doubt herself?

Photo by naohiko

© 2010, Tara Ziegmont. All rights reserved.

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

1 seriouslyahomemaker March 22, 2010 at 6:52 pm

Nope! Not one person on the planet doesn't have moments, days, weeks like that. I do. We are our own worst critic. I bet if you voiced these doubts to your hubby he say to you what my hubby says to me… “you are awesome! you rock! etc, etc”.

Tara, you are amazing and all i know of you I saw at Bloggy Boot Camp.

If it helps any, I had a similarly depressing, downward spiral blog post last thursday night and HOLY COW did i get great responses!!! From FANTASTIC bloggers. When i get to the self-loathing and stressed feelings again, i go back and read what the fine ladies said. http://www.seriouslyahomemaker.com/2010/03/some… Check them out!

AND today Melissa @ 320 sycamore wrote a great post in response to my whining. You should read it! It helps a ton! http://granvillehouse.blogspot.com/2010/03/what… She gives some great links too.

Lots of love out there! Start fresh tomorrow! Don't believe the self-doubt, babe!

Be a rockstar tomorrow!

Angie

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2 Heather McD March 22, 2010 at 6:58 pm

I certainly doubt myself all the time. I have the same experience that it happens late at night a lot. I don't know you very well but I am sure you are great at everything and will do well at Usborne books. They are great and marketable. I have started projects and failed at them but we all have just get back up and try that again or try something else the next time. You are definitely not alone.

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3 TasteStopping March 22, 2010 at 7:54 pm

Oh, I do this to myself all the time. And yes, it seems to happen most easily at night. During the day, we fill our time with all kinds of distractions (important and just plain fun), but at night there are no other distractions. For me it's helpful to remember that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life. No one is keeping score but me and all of my worries are actually opportunities and challenges on which I will one day look back and wonder why I let them have such hold over me. Good luck figuring it out. When you do, tell me your secret, okay?

Best,
Casey

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4 Beth March 22, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Oh, hon. One day at a time. One day at a time.

Each one is a new day. So just set up for that day and go with it. You can do ANYTHING for one day. You can.

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5 Rachel March 23, 2010 at 3:15 am

You’re so right that if there’s a moment of doubt or despair, it almost always happens at night, but things always look better in the morning.

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6 FeelsLikeHomeBlog March 23, 2010 at 2:53 am

Angie,

Thank you. Thank you for the kind words, and for the pep talk, and for making me smile first thing in the morning. :) I'm going to read your post and Melissa's when I get home from work tonight. Thanks again.

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7 Blessedwithgrace March 23, 2010 at 7:13 am

Girl, I relate!! I think you are correct that we all have self doubt at times. I have the same doubts that you verbalized. I try to remember I am a child of God. He created me in His image. My husband loves me. My daughter loves me. My family loves me. My friends love me and you have the same.
Thank you for sharing such personal and private thoughts and emotions.
If it makes you feel any better, you are my online blog hero! :-)

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8 FeelsLikeHomeBlog March 23, 2010 at 3:16 pm

You're right. If things are supposed to work out, they usually do by morning. :)

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9 FeelsLikeHomeBlog March 23, 2010 at 3:18 pm

He does. :) He'll say, “What are you worried about?” or “You're going to be great!”

Of course, today was great!

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10 FeelsLikeHomeBlog March 23, 2010 at 3:19 pm

It's hard to know when to say “No, thanks.” to a great opportunity, isn't it? Success comes at a price, and that's having less free time. It's a tough balance.

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11 FeelsLikeHomeBlog March 23, 2010 at 4:01 pm

I don't think there is a secret. What's the worst thing that can happen? I'll have made a few dollars and learned something no matter what. It doesn't always work out that way.

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12 FeelsLikeHomeBlog March 23, 2010 at 4:02 pm

Thank you, Lisa. :)

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13 Louise March 23, 2010 at 8:06 pm

I am one of those that doubts more than believes in myself. Sometimes, I have to take something to help me sleep because I stay up and worry about stuff for a while. Things usually are better though after a good night's sleep like one of your commenters said.

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14 DebMomOf3 March 24, 2010 at 3:15 pm

I don't think there's anyone who doesn't doubt her (or him) self. I agree that nighttime always makes things seem worse and more insurmountable than they probably really are – at least that's how it always seems for me too. Always kind of seems to go in phases too – I'll feel that way for a while and then it'll get better for a while.

You're definitely not alone!! Hugs…

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15 DebMomOf3 March 24, 2010 at 10:15 pm

I don't think there's anyone who doesn't doubt her (or him) self. I agree that nighttime always makes things seem worse and more insurmountable than they probably really are – at least that's how it always seems for me too. Always kind of seems to go in phases too – I'll feel that way for a while and then it'll get better for a while.

You're definitely not alone!! Hugs…

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16 patty March 28, 2010 at 9:32 pm

no, there's not and i'm one of the biggest!! :o
good for you for fighting that nay-sayer back. shoo!

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17 Sonalraja October 28, 2010 at 10:42 am

To your last question…probably not..
I guess it has something to do with being human…
We all seek to reaffirm our existance…

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