I am going to introduce you to one of my main concepts – this may be a little bit of a stretch but try it. Get intentional – an intention is a positive held thought. Focusing on what you want rather than focusing on what you don’t want can be very powerful. Live in the solution not the problem. When you claim what it is that you want then every choice that you make is either in alignment with what you say that you want or it is not. I am going to recommend that you create an “ideal vision” for dinner. You and your husband read it every night for a week – just before you serve the meal. Trust me you will make different choices. If you need to devise strategies – do it as a team after dinner is over and the kids are in bed – then implement the strategies the next day and evaluate them after the kids are in bed.

Here is my wife and my ideal vision for our family dinners:
The Michaels’ Family Vision for Meal Time:

• Meal time is peaceful.
• We view mealtime as important and demonstrate respect for this significant family time.
• We feel relaxed and calm.
• We are grateful for the food that we have to eat.
• We are grateful for the time and energy that was put into preparing the meal – and we express our gratitude openly.
• We feel comfortable sharing the experiences from our day.
• We support each other with words of encouragement and affirmation.
• Everyone’s opinion and experience is respected.
• We cooperate and help each other – using words such as “please & thank you”
• We all have foods that we enjoy.
• We experiment with foods and are open to trying new things.
• We eat slowly.
• We respect one another and wait patiently for the next course.
• We all help with the clean up.

I hope this helps.
-Freeman

I am trying to encourage eating well at meal times – not just eating healthful foods, but eating without distraction and eating what we need in one sitting – because I find that when they pick at their foods at meal time they get hungrier more often throughout the day, and tend to crave less nutritious or less varied foods for snacks than they would get for meals. But I also don't want to push them past their hunger cues and make them clean their plates – I'm just tired of offering healthful, kid-friendly meals only to have them eat two bites and then ask for a banana 20 minutes later. In the opposite sense, I have been finding I need to cut off their snacking in the late afternoon so they aren't too full to eat dinner-maybe this is a sign they need an earlier dinner? Or I just need to offer healthier snacks and not worry about dinner? Typical snacks around here are bread/crackers, cheese, yogurt and fruit. Meal times are when they're more likely to have legumes and vegetables, but I could change that!

I've struggled with my weight – and a thyroid condition (coincidence? ummm, don't think so!) – since adolescence, and I hope for my kids that they will avoid that – I know it's not all under our control, but so far they are very healthy and I hope to continue to help them build good habits.