Nurturing Trains?
Sometimes, I think too much.
I’m well aware of this problem, but there’s really nothing I can do to fix it. It just happens.
In my thirty years of thinking, I have spent a lot of time considering the toys offered to children.
What can I say? I’m more weird than you can imagine.
I don’t think there’s any doubt that traditional toys for little girls teach them nurturing behaviors, stressing relationships, cooperation, and domesticity, as well as physical beauty. Traditional toys for little boys often teach aggressive behaviors, stressing independence, competition, and conflict resolution, as well as physical strength.
I’ve worked really hard not to push Grace into any interests just because they are “for girls” (nor away from any just because they are “for boys”). Grace has a kitchen and a tool bench. She has cars and doll babies, sports equipment and musical instruments.
This year, Grace’s main Christmas present was a boatload of trains and train tracks.
Did you know that Thomas the Train is packaged in blue? Thomas himself is blue, too (because he’s a boy?). 
There are a number of trains that are girls, and they are green, purple, or yellow.
I was excited to play with Grace and her trains, and so was Joe. I remember playing with cars a lot when I was little, but I never had trains. I was thrilled to push them around the smooth tracks.
In the days after Christmas, we made many train track creations.
And Grace jumped over them, not interested in the trains at all.
At one point, Grace was knocking all of the trains off the tracks, over and over. I told her that I’d take them away if she broke them, and that ended pretty quickly.
Grace doesn’t quite have the coordination nor the fine motor skills to build train tracks. I’ve been helping her with that (and the table my sister’s husband built her for Christmas should help, too).
I expected her to race the trains. I expected her to play with the trains the way I would – push them around the tracks and have them pick things up and deposit them elsewhere.
She hasn’t done either of these things.
Grace lines up the trains and talks to them. She babies them. She kisses them.
Grace drives the trains to school in her Little People SUV. She cooes. She teaches them how to choo-choo. She calls them precious.
I can’t believe it.
She’s nurturing trains.
I feel like Charlie Brown: “I just can’t stand it.”
Not really. I will let her play however she wants.
Or I’ll try really hard to accept it.
I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.
Happily submitted to Tell Me Thursday, Things I Love Thursday, A Thousand Words Thursday, PhotoStory Friday, Friday’s Foto Finish Fiesta, Give Me Your Best Shot, and Real Life
Riley doesn't push his around either, he got them for his birthday, and if we didn't have the battery operated Thomas, they probably would never have made it around the tracks. He also has many toys aimed towards girls (baby doll, shopping cart and kitchen) and while he doesn't nurture his trains, he does talk to them and puts them in his shopping cart so he can buy them. I figure he'll get there eventually. Or not.
LOL. Thanks, Rachel. Others have told me that it's just the age, and this helps me to think it is. Maybe we do need to model what to do with them.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Feels like home, Feels like home, Robyn's Online World, topsy_top20k, topsy_top20k_en and others. topsy_top20k_en said: New post: Grace loves her trains, but not in the way you're thinking. http://bit.ly/7NxUKb [...]
This is really great play, and she is adorable. My kids are so close together in age there is hardly any separation. We have decided though, that my son is getting a doll for his birthday. He loves playing with Zoe's babies and there's nothing wrong with him having one of his own. I hope!
I totally agree, Louise. I don't see anything wrong with a boy having a doll and learning to nurture it. If/when he becomes a dad, those skills will be really important!
WOW! I'm beginning to wonder how I had three sons and none of them were bitten by the train bug. It looks fun at your house! Happy New Year!
Thanks
It is definitely fun at our house. Not in a “kids rule the house” way, but in a good, productive way. We play a lot.
I LOVE the way she plays with them!! It's so sweet and obvioulsy ALL her.
The tracks you made ARE pretty awesome though.
Happy New Year!!
I convinced Joe to start making little circle tracks and little oval tracks. Since then, she pushes the trains around and they play they way I thought they would. I think the tracks were the problem.
She still mothers them, but at least they make it onto the track now and then.
She looks incredibly happy with her trains! How cute!
I convinced Joe to start making little circle tracks and little oval tracks. Since then, she pushes the trains around and they play they way I thought they would. I think the tracks were the problem.
She still mothers them, but at least they make it onto the track now and then.
She looks incredibly happy with her trains! How cute!
[...] least she’s playing with them, and they’re near the tracks. I’m not going to [...]
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