Comments on: I Have A Confession

By: Another Trip to the Fabric Store | Feels Like Home

Another Trip to the Fabric Store | Feels Like Home — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 02:51:55 +0000

[...] Yes, it was that fabric store. [...]

By: Positive Parenting Solutions | Feels Like Home Recommends

Positive Parenting Solutions | Feels Like Home Recommends — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 03:58:17 +0000

[...] Remember when I posted about my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad trip to the fabric store? [...]

By: Lisa Clarke

Lisa Clarke — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:56:58 +0000

My kids are older now (9 and 6) and I think maybe I have successfully blocked those toddler years from memory (LOL!) but I read a book last summer that really helped in my approach to bad behavior. It’s called Playful Parenting, and the concept on a very general level, is to use play to get your kids to behave. For me, it has worked with things like getting the boys to stop yakking at night and go to sleep. Yelling “go to sleep!” up the stairs did absolutely nothing, but skipping up the stairs singing a song I made up about popping purple unicorns gives them a good laugh, after which they usually do exactly what was asked of them.

I don’t always remember to parent them with humor like that, but when I do, it is nearly always successful. Theoretically, it should work on a 2-year-old, too.

Good luck!

By: Charlene

Charlene — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 01:10:24 +0000

Some kids don’t do well with time-outs that close them into a room alone; at early ages, even putting them in the corner should be face-out, not face-in. I had to stand at the door and hold it closed to keep mine in time-out until I started leaving the door open–he would sit barely inside the room, but he had to stay IN the room. As long as he stayed in, I would leave the door open. At the end of that one-minute-per-year-of-age time, I asked if he was ready to come out–if he came out and misbehaved again, back he went for another.

Also–when in public, like a store–leave your purchase at the counter if need be and take them to time out outside, in the car.

We used to go to one store, then lunch, then ride around for awhile so he could get a nap in before we hit another store, then home. And there were a couple of months there that we just did NOT take him places–one of us stayed home with him, while the other did the errands. It was a short period, but it got him over that hump.

There were many times we had to leave even family gatherings early–it’s too easy for a little one, even a “little adult” little one, to get overstimulated. Their neurons can still only handle so much stimulus.

And as with most child-rearing issues–this too, shall pass!

By: Jenna @ Newlyweds

Jenna @ Newlyweds — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:57:10 +0000

Hi Tara! 1 of my boys are starting with this restless behavior as of lately, it can be frustrating as well. So please know i think you did all you could have. Just one thing I have always heard is whatever method you use just be consistent. Jenna @ Newlyweds’s last blog post..The Cast is off!

By: Meredith

Meredith — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:49:14 +0000

I have a 2.5 year old that does the same thing. It is so frustrating!! I am like you in that I give her a running narration of what’s going on when we are out and about. It seems that at least half of the time I don’t narrate she goes nuts. I have just gotten to the point that if my hubbie isn’t awake (he works nights/sleeps days) to watch her while I go shopping, I just wait until he is. I do not want to start encouraging bad habits this young though. I am eagerly waiting all the responses as much as you are. I have already put that book on my library list. I also wanted to say that if I remember correctly the 1,2,3, magic approach does work (like magic). My mom used it on me and my siblings when we were kids and we NEVER let her get to 3 (my dad would always remind us that it would be “blood and guts wall to wall”). I used to absolutely hate it when she said 1,2,.. but now I am starting to see a method to her madness. I think it is time I start becoming a little more like my mother .

By: Kim Yurkovich

Kim Yurkovich — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:32:11 +0000

I so feel your pain. My daughter is 2 1/2 and recently it’s been like a light bulb went off and her temperament went off with it. It can be very difficult, especially when it’s ongoing. I appreciate the comments here and I’m excited to use the 1,2,3 tactics. The best I’ve been able to do when faced with these situations is to work divert her attention but when she gets to the point of no return a quick exit or change of environment is the only thing that seems to work. Hang in there.

By: Sandwiched

Sandwiched — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:37:36 +0000

Tara, I feel you! Been there too. I haven’t read the book Katie mentioned, but I’ve been counting to 3 for years now. It’s like magic! I say “1″ when the unwanted behavior starts, “2″ if it continues, and if the word “3″ comes out of my mouth—no matter what—the child goes immediately and irrevokably to time out.

They SO get it now. If we’re someplace quiet (say, church), I can even hold up the number of fingers in question.

Now, you mentioned that the behavior continues in time out…it shouldn’t matter as long as you’re consistent. Try to pick a spot where she can’t do too much damage! Her world should collapse in on itself: no fun, no attention, no nothing. She may rage a while, but she’ll get it eventually. Time out means all that is good in her world disappears.

Our time out spot is at the bottom of the stairs in the front hall. Nothing on the stairs, and it looks on a blank wall. Can’t see anyone or anything from there.

At Little Sis’ last 5 yo check up, I reported that the bad behavior now usually lasts until 2.99999. The doc said that it’s time to stop counting, and that I can go directly from warning to time out (or right to time out, if she knows better).

That said, a 2 year old is really just beginning to learn to control herself. And sometimes (like when she’s short on sleep), she just CAN’T. Even though it might feel like it, she’s not doing it to ruin your day, she just lacks the ability to do anything else.

One other idea I remember working at that age is mirroring the kid’s feelings. If you notice frustration beginning to build, get down on her level and tell her how she’s feeling.

“Wow, you must be really bored. It’s really not fun for you when Mama needs to shop.”

A lot of times, the kid is so surprised that you “get” them, it takes the wind right out of their sails. A lot of the frustration from is trying to communicate with you.

And sometimes, nothing works. You just have to sling them under your arm and try again later…

Good luck!

Sandwiched’s last blog post..We love you, MJ.

By: Tara

Tara — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:16:48 +0000

Heather & 9to5to9 – That is some comfort, I guess.

Jessica – I have it and read it. I did appreciated the insight in the book, but the strategies only worked for us for a month or two.

Katie – That’s more or less what I’ve been doing with no results. When she’s in the time out spot, her behavior totally continues. She pulls things off the walls, jumps up and down, etc.

By: Katie

Katie — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 05:05:54 +0000

I think you did the best thing you could have done, beelined for the door. What you just described is SO typical of Ryder’s behavior in public, and probably most children in their age range. It’s frustrating, and embarassing. He was acting like out in the dr’s office during his 2 year check up, the dr suggested to me a book, 1, 2, 3 Magic, and said if I use the routine EVERY TIME he acts up, he will quickly learn to behave. She guaranteed it, even. I didn’t buy the book, but I have been doing the routine just as she described. It’s basically based on time-outs, so it may not work for Grace if time out’s don’t seem to do it for her. The dr said when Ryder acts up, say “1″. If he continues acting up, say “2″. Keeps it up, say “3″ and as soon as you get to 3, take him to time out. It’s one minute time out per year of age, so for Ryder it’s a 2 minute time out. We have a baby proof knob cover on the inside of the room to his door so he can’t get out when he is suppose to be going down nap or bedtime, and the baby proof knob cover works great for the time out because he can’t get out of the room before his two minutes is up. After two minutes, go in and ask “are you finished and ready to come out and behave?” and if he is still acting up shut the door, and leave for another two minutes. Come back after that two minutes, and if at that point he is still throwing a fit just leave the door open and let him cry it out. She said I have to do this everytime he acts out, no matter where we are. If we are in the grocery store, check out and take him to the car for time out. Dr said eventually he will be trained to the point where you will only have to get to 1, maybe 2 before he changes his attitude. So I have been doing that. And it’s working, amazingly! I think why it works for us is because he really doesn’t want to be in his room with the door shut, or in the carseat in time out, missing out on whatever the activity he/we were doing before the time out.